Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Fiber - It's nature's Broom

Today, I got a large gift in the mail at work. Fiber, fiber and more fiber. I got boxes of powdered fiber in pink lemonade and iced tea flavors - just add water - and even fibrous bars in apple and strawberry. What did I do to deserve all this fiber? I stacked it on a filing cabinet to try to get rid of it. People picked gingerly at the boxes, some giggled as they thought about "what fiber does" to the body, others cringed, others took loads of the stuff for "energy."

Eventually I took a taste of "iced tea flavored fiber." It was thick; some of the powder stuck on the bottom of Colleen's water bottle. It tasted remarkably like tea, but with a heavier consistency, like Ovaltine. Just a few minutes after gulping this fiber down I heard a rumbly in my tumbly. Uh-oh. I wonder what kind of magic is happening in my body pumped full of synthesized fiber.

I can just imagine the entire newsroom running to the bathroom at once, pounding on stall doors as nature's broom sweeps out the body, ounce by ounce, bar by bar.

Next time I'll just eat an apple.


Dan-Eric Slocum said...

It reminds me of the Jamie Lee Curtis Activia commercial where she says, "You're gonna love the way this story ends!" They might as well flush a freakin' toilet in the background.

Then there's that commercial where the woman is eating the yogurt that contains fiber but claims she can't taste the fiber. And the clerk says, "You've just had five days worth." The woman standing next to her laughs.

Nature's broom. Gotta love it. It all goes back to one of Oprah's favorite lines. "Everybody poops."

McJumpguez said...

Haa haa!