Thursday, October 30, 2008

Why women's clothing is like a torture device

Today I decided to wear tights since I am going out to a show tonight after work, and wanted to wear a skirt for a change. I now feel like a chorizo sausage, trying to bust out of an second skin. How do black tights make a person who is not overweight feel like she needs to lose 10 pounds? I think the equates a torture device, but I'm going to have to grin and bear it. It means I can't eat too much for lunch, or my stomach might break a hole through this outer sheath. So ladies, what do you do? Do you pull the thing up to your armpits in hopes it flattens your stomach, or push them down to make a gigantic bulge in the hips? Choices, choices.

I'm just glad I don't live a couple hundred years ago, where it was common for women to wear corsets. Sometimes these corsets were so tight they'd rupture internal organs, or women would pass out due to their compressed lungs. Or I'm glad I don't live in Asia where women had to wear tiny shoes to stunt the growth of their feet. Or where women go through painful bone-lengthening procedures that involve breaking the thigh, inserting screws, and slowly pulling the bone apart. Yes, this happens TODAY in some countries, because some women think being tall equates beauty.

High heels are also an interesting phenomenon. I wear heels for a couple reasons - sometimes its for looks, sometimes it's because all my pants are too long, and require high heels if I don't want to ruin the cuffs. High heels are another torture device, completely unnatural, but I've gotten so used to walking in them I don't even notice. And they are perfect for dancing, since Latin dance requires women to move on the balls of their feet.

The good thing about all these torture devices is that we live in a country where we can CHOOSE to be uncomfortable, its not a way of life, or forced upon us. If we want to wear sweats and tennis shoes, no problem. If we want to look like Gothic creeps, no problem. Or if we want to wear high heels and tights and torture ourselves all day long, no problem. At least I'll be dressed for the show!


Melissa said...

I always had a horrible time with tights and nylons. I'm pretty tall, between 5'8' and 5'9" but apparently have freakzoid long legs because the crotch was always down around knees one of the top ten uncomfortable female moments that I can state in mixed company.

As for heels never wore them because as I said I'm tall and they make me really tall. plus flat feet make them nearly impossible. I've been doing the jeans thing after years of dressing up and I'm liking it :)

Lisa said...

I was glad Princess Diana came along when she did, because she made wearing flat shoes OK, since she was 5'10" and prince Charles was a couple of inches shorter. Yay flats!

It's so tough to get tights that fit correctly. I'm wearing them under my slacks today, and they're digging into my thighs. OUCH!!!!!

I also saw a TV show once about these fetish freaks who are turned on even today by women in boned corsets!!! Freaks!!!

Anyway, all this has to do with making ourselves look small or, stick our butts out so men will want to mate with us and have babies. If we look small, they think they can control us, thus we become acceptable to tiny egos.

Feminist rant over. Taking off tights and putting on sensible shoes....

Love, Lisa

Travis said...

gay bois have similar pressure. before there was Curtis for 10 years I felt all this pressure to be as stick thin as wear the tightests fitting muscle shirts keep my abs toned and to drink constantly.

My 20's were a lot of fun, but dear god I cannot imagine living the rest of my life like that. men (gay or straight) objectify their sexual partners and it can cause so much damage, physical and mental. There was a time in my life when I anchored my own tv show, was president of the board of directors of two high profile non-profits, was thin and lean, worked out every day...and STILL because I didnt have a boyfriend I felt like I was a complete failure. YUCK. YUCK YUCK.

Travis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristin said...

I definately feel I've changed, too, Travis. I was more into wearing tight clothes and lots of makeup and going clubbing all the time. Thank goodness I'm now in my LATE 20's, and don't worry about that stuff so much.

Kathleen said...

Oh, I HATE HATE HATE pantyhose and tights, with the fire of a thousand suns. I can occasionally find a pair of cotton or wool tights that have a comfy waistband, but 99% of them are, as you said, a torture device. Did you ever see the poem I wrote about that?

One thing I love about being able to stay home is that there's no one dictating what I need to wear. I can just roll out of bed, put on my favorite jeans, and I'm set for the day.

Paula said...

I don't think I have ever worn tights in my life. Is this possible? I pretty much live in jeans, and my "heels" are 1" ones. If I had more of an eye for fashion perhaps I'd do things more creatively. I do wear fitted clothes to the gym so I can actually see the shape I am creating - and they are all stretchy and fluid. It's true, the older you get (and I'm OLD, LOL!), the less you tolerate being constricted by clothing, or anything else, for that matter. I like it - I would consider it being comfortable in your own skin and in your own life.