Thursday, November 20, 2008

It's one of THOSE weeks

The flourescent light is like a wet, cold washcloth that's sticking against my neck. My entire body feels clammy, tired, and I have an extreme sensitivity to light right now. David tried to flick on our VERY bright bedroom light and I yelled "NO! not that one! The other one!" When I'm tired and feeling "blah" I like soft, yellow lights. Nothing bright, nothing overhead. David tried to appease this weird quirk of mine by putting a low-light, gray LED in the closet. It's worse. I turned it on this morning and I felt like the light was smacking me in the eyes. I ran downstairs to my favorite Tiffany-style lamp, which creates a yellow, ethereal glow like morning sun glinting through trees.

I have been tired every day this week, and unmotivated. I don't know why, either. I've been playing tennis every day, eating pretty healthily, but can't seem to sleep the night through. I'll have weird dreams and wake up suddenly, then have a hard time falling back asleep. Every morning I groan, feeling the urge to just stay home and make soup, and just linger in the perfect lighting for my state of mine. I don't like rushing out to the car, then walking down the flourescent-lit tunnel to the ferry, then getting onboard with the stench of perfume and even more ugly lights enveloping me.

I'm just in a strange state right now, and I think some other people are feeling that way to. What is it? Is it the darkness in the morning? Is it the approaching holidays? Is it the financial doom and gloom every day on the news? I just want to be in bed with a steaming hot cup of coffee, and a good book.


McJumpguez said...

Yeah, it must be in there air cuz I feel the same way. All I want to do is be home and cook. That's when I feel the calmest.

Dan-Eric Slocum said...

Kristin. This message is straight from your heart -- and rings a big bell.

I think *part* of the malaise in our world right now is related to all of the uncertainty swirling in the air.

Just in my tiny corner of the world -- watching my pundits on CNN and CNBC -- I see wise, Harvard educated, economy experts talk about "D"epression. Yes, DEPRESSION. My parents lived through the Depression in the 30s and have told me so many tales of their childhoods. I cannot imagine some of the scenarios which COULD play out in this country.

I think the best we can do right now is recognize that it is a "gray" time of year. The holidays can create stress. There is great uncertainty -- so we focus on the hope. An African-American has been elected to the highest office in the land that supported legal slavery. We are moving forward in some *very good* ways and that's where my focus is during these difficult days.

Travis said...

I am pretty sure I know exactly how you feel Kristin.

Lisa said...

I'm sure it's stress. We take in so much in what we do. And it has an impact. That's why I have acupuncture every week or every other week, meditate....and get my CHOCOLATE fix! Also red wine on Fridays.....Please know there is no shame in some pampering time for you, Ms. Kristin! We love what you do!

Paula said...

So, I think Dan-Eric hit it on the head. A lot of complexity right now...but for me....I am simply more tired than normal! Going to bed early, sometimes at 9:30 p.m.....I think it is the change of weather - here in Portland at least, cold and rainy - the early darkness - just a whole different scene. Maybe because I'm "old" LOL, I am having a harder time staying warm. I come into my house and turn the heat to 70. I seem to be feeling I am "fighting something". Also, the economy is having an impact on everything, which creates a darkness in its own right. For me, good to have things to look forward to, and my loved ones to think about. But I like you just have to roll with it. If tired and out of sorts, what else can you be.

Anonymous said...

Hey would you rather be in sunny dry California worrying about the next fire? Get over it and laugh and be happy. You can!